You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize