M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
