all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
