dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize