I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
