idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
