I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Even my vagina gasped.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
