i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
