Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
