I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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