The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
