His pubic hair was longer than his dick
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
