i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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