she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
