She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
