I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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