I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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