you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
