so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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