I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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