She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
