end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
