yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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