theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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