I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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