shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
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Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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