I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.