if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
