If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
