Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
