Fuck appropriateness.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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