Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
