My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
