mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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