he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
