What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
