No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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