i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
