apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
