I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
