Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize