thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
