Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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