he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
