So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
