I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize