i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
