Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
