How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
