YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
