Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
