i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
