butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I smell stomach acid.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
