oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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