i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
