I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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