Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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