he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
