Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
