He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
